Destiny
by Mythdefied
April 1st, 2005
When the dark haired boy awoke that
morning, it was with a clear
understanding of what he'd been missing in his life. Suddenly, it all
made sense, why he'd never been happy with the ex-demon. He was gay!
The attraction to the petite blond Slayer, his flirtation with the
redheaded witch, they were all girls he'd known he couldn't have and so
they'd been safe! The fact
that his "relationship" with his current former demon girlfriend was
kind of working out, was just a fluke. Maybe they did have, according
to her, great orgasms together, but, teenager or not, man could not
live by orgasm alone. They didn't have love together, not the real
thing, and the young man knew that because he was in love. It'd taken him too
long to realize it, but now he was sure!
Suddenly, there was a knock at the basement door. More of a banging,
really, accompanied by a yell.
"Oy! Whelp! Lemme in!"
"Spike!" the teen gasped out
the name of his beloved.
They had a connection between them. For all that they'd played around
at being enemies, there'd always been...something there, something that
drew them together. But it was daytime now, and if the chipped vampire
was here, that meant he was in trouble. Of course, he'd come to his
best friend for help, because the Scooby was always there for him!
Scrambling out of bed, the half naked young man ran to the basement
door and threw it open. And there stood the bleached blond vampire,
tarp over his head, smoking slightly.
"Xander!"
"Spike! Are you alright?" inquired the brown haired mortal as he pulled
the other man into the basement, closing the door behind him.
"Yeah, whelp, I'm good," answered the British vampire as he tossed
aside the tarp. "Just had to see you."
The blond man had been thinking about it all night, the way he couldn't
get the handsome young human out of his mind. That shaggy hair, those
limpid brown eyes, the way the whelp snarked right back at him; it was
true love, and it'd taken the vampire too long to notice it. It burned
brighter in him than his love for the crazy brown haired vampire he'd
spent the last century with; he had to have this mortal, and he had to
know if the whelp felt the same.
"Before you say anything, Spike," started the dark haired man as he
held up his hands, frowning because he wasn't sure how this was going
to go over. "I just have to say that--"
"I love you," the chipped demon interrupted, tilting his head up
challengingly, daring the mortal to start an argument over it, because
he wasn't leaving until they'd come to an understanding about this.
"I--you--? Love?" the brown-eyed boy stuttered as he grinned suddenly.
"Yes! That's just what I was gonna say, Spike! I love you alot!" he
enthused. This was better than he'd hoped! He'd thought he'd have to
convince the snarky Brit to see things his way!
"You do? You really love me, whelp?" the blond vampire, breathed as he
stepped forward, reaching out to touch the teenager's bare chest,
loving the way the warm skin felt.
"Oh, yeah! Can't stop thinking about you!" the Scooby pronounced, and,
grabbing hold of the leather-wearing vampire's arm, he pulled the other
man into a passionate embrace. Much kissing and tongues ensued. "You're
my one true love, Spike! And I'm gonna prove it to you by letting you
fuck me!" he exclaimed, grinning happily.
The shorter man grinned back, then raised an eyebrow. "That's how you
prove true love?" he asked.
The taller mortal man frowned and pronounced, "Well, it's either that
or by having your ass baby. One of the two equals true love; I'm pretty
sure of that."
"Uh...cold dead seed here, remember, whelp?"
"Right. Okay, babies are out. Let's go with the butt sex."
Happy to have solved the matter, they both stumbled towards the
fold-out bed, stripping off clothes as they went -- only boxers in the
once again unemployed teen's case -- until they fell into the bed,
naked and groping and humping each other.
"Take me, Spike! Show me that you really love me!" the boy groaned,
desperate to feel the blue eyed vampire's cool rod of love deep inside
his cherry channel of carnal delights.
"Um...slight problem with that, whelp," pointed out the smaller naked
man, propping himself up over his lover. And the young man looked so
beautiful, spread out under him. "The chip, remember? I hurt you and I
get hurt; ring a bell?"
"Oh! God, Spike, I don't ever
want to hurt you. But, it's not a problem!" cried the dark haired man,
then, grinning, he pushed the other man to the side and hopped off the
bed. "Anya bought us some toys and there's this one that'll be perfect!"
Grabbing hold of a waist-high box in the corner of the room, the strong
young man pulled it towards the bed, grunting with the effort.
"Help me with this," he grunted, wincing as a staple dug into his
finger when he pried the top of the box open.
With the bleach blond's help, they had the box open in seconds.
"Bum Buster 1000?" the naked vampire read, his eyebrows rising as he
pulled out the instruction manual, big enough to need two hands to
grasp.
"Yep," the tall boy ground out as he levered the contraption out of the
box. "Hey." he frowned at the notation on the side of the machine.
"This has a high voltage warning on it."
"Whelp," the pale man exclaimed as he looked up from the manual, eyes
wide, "this thing takes petrol!"
"Oh, huh. Guess we should just plug it in, then," the Scooby decided,
then shrugged and reached for the extension cord.
-------
"It's another apocalypse, isn't it!" the young blond Slayer cried out
as she groped her way around her Watcher's dark apartment.
"I think it's just a blackout," the red head disagreed from somewhere
across the room as she too tried to find her way around.
Then the door was pulled open and suddenly daylight was flooding the
room, leaving four people blinking in the sudden brilliance.
The Watcher, standing at the door, looked out with a frown. "Hard to
say in daylight, but it appears that Willow may be right; it's just a
general blackout," he pronounced.
"Oh," the Slayer sighed, disappointed. There was never any fun to be
had without an apocalypse. "Well, maybe Xander will show up and mess
something up and we'll have something to do," she mused aloud.
"Buffy!" her best friend, the witch gasped in shock and censure. "How
can you talk about Xander like that? He's our friend!" She never could
understand why the young Slayer was so cruel to the other Scooby.
"I--I think Xander is n--nice," the red headed witch's blond girlfriend
stuttered out. The young man had always been so nice to her.
"Yes, well, Buffy has a point," the Watcher ejaculated with a sigh. The
boy had always been a liability to them.
Before the shorter witch could protest again, the object of their
budding argument suddenly came stumbling through the door. Well...more
like a tarp-covered, smoking form came stumbling into the apartment,
the young man draped over his shoulder.
"Xander!" the red headed witch gasped out in shock. She'd never seen
him look so...so...limp!
"Oh, great, Xander," the blue eyed slayer muttered and rolled her eyes,
then grabbed the nearest stake. "And Spike! I should stake you right
now just for existing!"
"Close the door, Red!" the tarp-covered vampire ordered as he dropped
his boneless lover into the nearest chair.
"W--we need the light; the power's out," the blond witch offered
hesitantly.
"Yeah, half the city's out," the blue eyed, thin vampire informed as he
stepped into the shadows and shucked off the tarp. He shook his head.
"Told you we should've grounded that thing, whelp."
The taller young man twitched and moaned. Now dressed in shorts, a
T-shirt and yet another floral print shirt -- the only thing the
fashion-conscious vampire could find and he hadn't been happy about
that -- the Scooby just couldn't seem to make himself move, or get his
legs closed. He slid further down in the chair, grinning widely.
"Wuz good anyway," he slurred.
"That it was, whelp," the too-pretty for words vampire agreed as he
leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to his lover's forehead.
"Eeeeewwwwwww!" the blond Slayer screeched in sudden horror. She'd known that the dark haired young
man didn't have any common sense,
always getting into so much trouble but this was the last straw! "Oh my
God, Giles! Now do you see what I'm talking
about! We have to kill Xander and Spike before they contaminate
everyone with their gay cooties!"
"Hey!" the red headed witch protested at the same time as her blond
haired witchy girlfriend.
The Watcher frowned. "Now, Buffy, I'll have you know that I'm gay, too."
"You?" she gasped in
disbelief. No way was her Watcher "that way!" "B--But what about that
'special friend' you had over a couple weeks ago -- Olivia?"
The tweed wearing older man smiled as he remembered that lovely
encounter, and replied, "Yes, well, Oliver always did like to
crossdress, and 'Olivia' suits him."
The Slayer shook her head, refusing to believe this. "Ms. Calendar!"
she pointed out triumphantly.
The dark eyed Watcher sighed sadly at the memories that name brought
up. "Yes, dear Jack Calendar. He always did have a good figure in a
skirt. Did I mention my thing for crossdressers?"
"I don't believe this!" the Slayer shouted in disbelief. "You can't be
gay, Giles! Neither can you, Xander!"
"Face it, Slutty," the snarky British Vampire snarked with a smirk as
he cuddled with his new lover, "you're the only straight person in
Sunnydale."
"I am not! I have Riley!"
"Um...." The voice came from the door and they all turned to see the
tall Initiative soldier standing there, arm around the waist of another
soldier, this one handsome and dark-skinned. "Actually, Buffy, I wanted
to tell you something about me and Forrest here," he announced as he
tightened his arm around his fellow soldier's and his lover's waist.
"Aaaaahhhhhh!" the petite blond slayer screamed, and gripping her
stake, rushed to take out her frustration on the nearest target, the
surprised and defenseless chipped vampire.
Fortunately, the red headed witch caught her dragged her into another
room, where she couldn't do any harm.
"That was close, Spikey-poo," the dark haired mortal boy murmured,
leaning up to kiss the cool lips of his vampire lover.
"Yeah, that it was, whelp," the bleached blond other man agreed softly,
enjoying the feel of his lover in his arms.
"I knew it!" A screech and a
flash of light lit the room and suddenly there stood the former
vengeance demon. Although, she was definitely looking very much like a
current vengeance demon, at the moment.
"Anya!" the floral wearing young man gasped out in surprise. He hadn't
seen her all day and he hadn't thought about how to break this news to
her yet!
"I knew you'd cheat on me,
Xander!" the once ex, now demon again woman yelled, her face going all
veiny as power sparked around her. "That's why I became your
girlfriend! I knew that you'd be unfaithful and I could become a demon
again because of it! And now I have to curse you."
Suddenly the small red headed witch came back into the room. It'd been
a close thing, but she'd managed to get the raving Slayer tied up in
the next room and now she was really worried. "Something's really
wrong, Giles!" she grunted worriedly. "Buffy's speaking in tongues!"
"Hmm," mused the older but dignified looking Watcher as he looked
around at the gathering of Scoobys, soldiers and one not-so ex-demon,
his eyes narrowing as he thought it over. "You may be right, Willow.
Something seems...off here."
"M--Maybe it's a spell?" the blond witch offered haltingly.
"Yes! That's what it feels like, an evil spell!" announced the
intelligent Watcher knowingly.
"Well, um, maybe we better hurry up and break it," blurted out the
frowning red haired witch as she looked back into the other room with
concern. "Buffy's head is starting to spin."
"Finite Incantatem!" the
stately old Watcher intoned.
Everyone in the room stared at him.
"Yes, well, it was worth a try," he muttered, then tossed the wand back
in his desk drawer.
"Wait! I know!" the young darker haired witch announced as she ran over
to the bookcase. She knew just the thing!
"Do be careful with those!" the older Watcher pleaded as he took off
his glasses and began to polish them. It was about time to get a new
prescription, he thought, all the polishing had worn these pair down.
"Here it is!" the young woman announced as she flipped open the book to
exactly the right page. Then she yodeled, "Endus Badficius!"
And everything faded dramatically to black.
-----
Opening his eyes slowly, Xander groaned. Funny, he didn't remember going to a concert, but
there was definitely someone doing a drum solo, and it sounded like it
was right inside his head. Still slumped in the chair, he pushed
himself up with a pained groan and looked around.
Riley and Forrest where nowhere to be seen, but across the room, Giles
was on his feet and leaning against the wall, looking about as unsteady
as Xander felt. Xander certainly wouldn't have trusted his own legs to
hold him up right then. Willow was sprawled out on the floor and for a
second, alarm swept through Xander and he would've shoved himself out
of the chair and crawled over to her. But Tara was right there. She
must've fallen next to Willow because she was sitting up now, wincing
in pain even as she reached over to touch Willow's shoulder.
"Willow? A--are you all right?"
"Ugh?" was all Xander heard, but it was a semi-coherent sounding "ugh"
and he thought she'd be okay.
"Oooh," a dazed groan came from somewhere too close for Xander to see,
but he knew that voice.
"Anya!" Now he did push off of the chair, sliding to the floor. It put
him right next to Anya -- who was trying to push herself up.
"Here." He helped her to sit up, letting her lean against him.
"Xander?" She frowned as she looked at him. "I--I'm not a demon,
Xander, you know that, right? Not that it wouldn't be nice, sometimes,
especially right before my period. Then I could curse men and make
myself feel much better. But...." Her frown deepened. "I wouldn't curse
you, Xander. I love you."
"Yeah," he smiled at her, sliding an arm around her shoulders. "Love
you too, Ahn. And you know I never would've cheated on you without a
spell, right?"
"I know." She took his free hand in hers, smiling slightly. "But we
should talk about that, Xander."
"What, the cheating?" He frowned. "Why? It's not like it'll happen
again. I mean, come on, it's Spike."
He nodded towards the pair of legs sticking out from beside the chair.
Spike was still out cold.
"Well, was it good? I mean, of course you were under a spell, but was
sex good with Spike?" There was no jealousy or accusation in her tone,
just curiosity. "Did you have a lot of it, or just once?"
Xander chuckled uncomfortably. "Uh...you know what, Ahn? I'm trying
really hard to repress those memories right now, so let's just move on
in to Denial Land, okay?
"Thought it wasn't half bad," came Spike's voice. Then he was moving,
sitting up and running a hand through his hair, leaving it standing up
in over-gelled patches. "Power tools were a bit of all right, even if
it was part of a bloody spell."
"No one asked you, fangless," Xander said with a glare.
"Oh, the Bum Buster?" Anya smiled as she looked at Spike, then back to
Xander. "You tried it out? I knew
you'd like it! You'll tell me all about it later."
"Wait, that wasn't part of
the spell?" Spike stared at them incredulously.
"Can someone please untie
me?" Buffy's yell from the bathroom stopped Xander from replying.
"I ordered it from a special catalogue," Anya was saying to Spike, even
as she ran her thumb slowly over the back of Xander's hand. "It has
multiple features. Did you try them all?"
"Do you have any aspirin, Giles?" Willow sounded groggy but her voice
was strong.
"Oh, yes, plenty of aspirin," Giles said, pushing away from the wall,
rubbing his forehead. "And fortunately, great quantities of alcohol,"
he muttered.
"...and you can help me try the Richter Scale feature on Xander."
"What?" Xander immediately
shifted his attention back to Anya and Spike. Spike, who'd moved much
closer to them and was regarding Anya with rapt attention.
"It really is a three person device, Xander," Anya said, patting his
hand with a smile. "At least, if you want to make full use of it. And
Spike's volunteered to help."
"What?" Xander repeated,
staring at Spike.
Spike just grinned at him, raising an eyebrow before looking back at
Anya. "So, tell me, pet, does Harris here always cross his eyes when
he's getting shagged?"
"Yes! Isn't it cute?" Anya said with a light laugh. Then she let go of
Xander and leaned in close to Spike. "Did he do that little whimpering
thing, too?"
Spike nodded, grinning widely.
Xander just dropped his head into the palm of his hand and groaned.
Fin
Well, it entertained the heck out of me! And, oh yeah, happy April
Fool's Day. *G*